(no subject)
Apr. 5th, 2004 02:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leticiaSo, sissy's playing the MUD I don't play anymore because I have three exs that play it, two of whom are devs. (Note, that technically, I myself have or had a dev character, and that's MUCH more interaction with them then I want to have.)
And she keeps quoting things my most recent ex (You all might remember him as Erebus, Bus, or Boos) is saying. Yeah, yeah, he's funny, I remember that.
But does she have to keep a) rubbing it in that I had to quit the goddamn game and b) quoting him?
Men. Never trust a man. They all tell you that they're different than those other men that hurt you. They believe it - certainly, men all have enough ego to think they're better than any other man could possibly be for you. In a funny sort of way, they're right. They might even sincerely mean every word they say and every promise you make - so even if you can smell the sincerity, don't believe them. They change their minds. "People change" they say. "This excuses me from keeping my promises. I didn't know who I'd be now, who you'd be now, then. I don't care to try. I don't care to change the relationship. It doesn't work for me now, therefore it doesn't work."
And those sincerely held, deeply meant promises?
Gone, poof, so much garbage to be carted out with all the other refuse life generates. And they don't care. That's probably what twigs me the most. They don't feel bad about breaking their promises. They don't feel bad about going back on their word. Oh, sure, they don't want to hurt you (or maybe they do, but they're not all malicious) but it can't really be helped. 'Cause damned if they're going to put any more effort into things!
And the worst part is? I'd probably still be stupid enough to believe some guy who told me such things with sincerity. And then a year, two years, five years down the road when he was done and tired of it? Damn, I'd kick myself all over.
Fortunately, being a recluse and unattractive, I don't have many opportunities to make a fool over myself for men.
Note: Women could be just as bad. I don't know. I've never dated a woman. All I know is that I'm not.
And she keeps quoting things my most recent ex (You all might remember him as Erebus, Bus, or Boos) is saying. Yeah, yeah, he's funny, I remember that.
But does she have to keep a) rubbing it in that I had to quit the goddamn game and b) quoting him?
Men. Never trust a man. They all tell you that they're different than those other men that hurt you. They believe it - certainly, men all have enough ego to think they're better than any other man could possibly be for you. In a funny sort of way, they're right. They might even sincerely mean every word they say and every promise you make - so even if you can smell the sincerity, don't believe them. They change their minds. "People change" they say. "This excuses me from keeping my promises. I didn't know who I'd be now, who you'd be now, then. I don't care to try. I don't care to change the relationship. It doesn't work for me now, therefore it doesn't work."
And those sincerely held, deeply meant promises?
Gone, poof, so much garbage to be carted out with all the other refuse life generates. And they don't care. That's probably what twigs me the most. They don't feel bad about breaking their promises. They don't feel bad about going back on their word. Oh, sure, they don't want to hurt you (or maybe they do, but they're not all malicious) but it can't really be helped. 'Cause damned if they're going to put any more effort into things!
And the worst part is? I'd probably still be stupid enough to believe some guy who told me such things with sincerity. And then a year, two years, five years down the road when he was done and tired of it? Damn, I'd kick myself all over.
Fortunately, being a recluse and unattractive, I don't have many opportunities to make a fool over myself for men.
Note: Women could be just as bad. I don't know. I've never dated a woman. All I know is that I'm not.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:09 pm (UTC)I've known a man to be perfectly sincere - and wind up making a liar out of themselves. You can't TRUST them, not their words, not their sincerity, nothing. There's nothing to trust, because they mean in all sincerity what they stay and will still break their word.
You can't trust a man because they can't trust themselves.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-06 07:31 pm (UTC)Love is, after all, a precious commodity.
I suppose that ever after love is another casualty of our infernal culture of disposables, use once, throw-away. If it's broken, don't fix it, don't try to make it work, toss it in the trash and get another one.
But love is still a precious commodity, and ...well, I dunno. Maybe it's not. It just seems to me that if you don't know what you want to do with your life, the immediate reaction wouldn't be "I want to lose the girlfriend. I realize I made promises and I meant them and that she trusts me to keep them, but, well, forget this." I dunno. I just fail to see how a relationship with (real?) love can be that much of an impediment to happiness.
Unless, of course, the girlfriend was inherently flawed, which happens to be the case with me, but I try to pretend I'm like everyone else, anyhow.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 03:18 am (UTC)Sure. So they're in a position where they won't ever be happy.
If they can fix that by dumping me, that means that I am going to /keep them from ever being happy/. Now there's a load for ya.
Does this mean Matt decided that I was going to keep him from ever being happy?
...Well, since I have little trouble believing something bad about /myself/ I can see it.
......I wish I knew what I did wrong there. I really do. I wish I could undo it. Be less pushy? Be more pushy? Less clingy? More clingy?
...Anyhow, yeah, I've dated nice guys (or a nice guy, anyhow. Sigh.) Nice guys that have ultimately dumped me, despite promises and the fact they didn't want to hurt me.
So if you can't trust the nice guys, and you can't trust the sincere promises, why bother trying?