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This is it, the funniest damn log ever. I have been -waiting- to post this one.

If you read this log, you are obliged to read everything said by the salamander out-loud in your best Eeyore voice.


As the large essence-life mass moves away from the altar and towards a flame vent, Imtithal pauses and glances around to make sure the simhata are clear, just in case. A moment later... a huge, scaly head slowly works its way out of the flame vent, trailing drops of magma...

Sarye starts a bit, but scans the familiar massive brow for signs of the same essence as the previous salamander. "Is the manse itself creating them? One of the abcissic designs imprinted into the geomancy?"

Imtithal takes a startled step back, halfway to spreading her wings. "The manse able to summon its own?" she says. "That would be a feat." She doesn't say it would be impossible. As the solars watch, the salamander - as far as either can tell, the same as the other - continues heaving itself out of the lava, slowly.

There is one thing that makes this salamander unlike the one they fought earlier today...

It has no tail.

Sarye looks over at Corona. He taps his foot as he gets the tail out. Corona whimpers. Sarye pulls back the helm and _glares_ at Corona, holding out the tail as the salamander stands above. Corona growls, and Sarye growls back, louder. The simhata hisses at the Salamander, and runs about, and Sarye finally speaks. "Corona! NOW!" Stern, Sarye can be, and even Corona will obey in time.

The mighty simhata slinks up to to Sarye, and takes the tail in his teeth -- then makes to run away. Before the massive beast can escape, Corona seizes one sensitive ear and -twists-. Corona's claws rend and claw at the earth, and he rowls miserably as Sarye continues to hold the twisting ear, but Corona does not drop the tail, or strike his master. Eventually, the chastened simhata calms, and, as he tugs back at the ear Sarye holds, the Zenith releases, and Corona slinks across the floor of the manse's "hearthroom", dragging the tail to drop at the feet of the salamander.

Imtithal gives Sarye a quick glance, and hisses, "Are you sure? It DID attack us!"

But whatever goaded the beast to attack earlier, it seems a little more placid now, its eyes duller than earlier, as it watches the simhata. It bends its head down to sniff the tail after a moment.

Sarye nods. "I think so; I suspect that when the manse went bad, he did too. And Corona has interfered with his rebirth." Corona whines at that and Sarye sternly says, "Corona, apologize!" Corona whines, but stretches out and plants his hoof-paws forward,wriggling his toes and whimpering apologetically as he lets the Salamander reinspect the tail.

Imtithal cautions, "I am not entirely sure the manse is /fixed/."

And she is interrupted by a deep rumbling voice in Old Realm, almost the voice of a volcano. "The little flyer is correct, Prince of the Earth. The manse is intact, but the elements around it are askew." The elemental is ignoring its cleanly sliced off tail and the simhata, watching the two Exalts closely.

Sarye chuckles quietly. "Will you let Corona apologize to you, then, Sage of Fire? He is troublesome. If not, pick up your tail and throw it about; he will pounce upon it and have great fun. Otherwise, he will be confused, and that is good for no one's geomancy." To Sarye, elements of family and politeness come _first_, then great magics. "Afterwards, we may see what we can do."

The elemental inclines his head slowly. "Pardon, Prince of the Earth. Your cat may keep it if he wishes. It will regrow." He heaves a long-suffering sigh. "As it always has. You may wish to cut off the venom sack if you are fond of the animal, however." He tilts his head to the side, looking at the simhata. "You are not to blame, little one," he rumbles - still speaking all Old Realm. "We all serve as we are required."

Corona happily mewls and mrows and purrs, and prances around, picking up the tail in his teeth and running back to Sarye, who laughs and pets and soothes the beast, even as he tries to get a knife and a jar out to take care of the venom sac. He translates briefly for Imtithal, and says, "Oh, he has eaten a few snakes from time to time, but why take chances. So!" Sarye says brightly. "Things are out of place, and not where they should be. How much can you tell us of the running of the manse, and what it is connected to, and how these things should be that they are not?"

Imtithal blinks at the translation. "What? Oh. Don't bother," she says waving a hand vaguely. "I think it was poured into my head along with a whole lot of light." She smiles vaguely. She eyes the elemental suspiciously still. "And why you attacked us without speech earlier?" she adds, her Old Realm having an odd accent of ...Really Old... to it.

The elemental gives a full body shrug - the ripple down its serpentine body stopping short as it hits the missing tail - not missing, truly, Corona has it over there, and is currently playing tug-of-war with Aurora - and says, "This manse is intended to be mostly automated, Hammer of Heaven. This is the Fire Station of the Midala Temple Complex. It provides artillery support for the main temple." The great elemental glances at Imtithal. "I attacked you, young one, because I was mad. I will be well for some time, having been forced to regenerate, but it will inevitably happen again. It has happened several times since the elements were displaced. I am bound to this place and the warping effects my mind." The elemental pauses, and adds, "I would have challenged you and attacked you anyhow, since you were not attuned, and no orders had come from the main temple. This is no longer the case."

"Midala," breathes Sarye. So now he knows the name. This will aid greatly in the re-dedication. "So we must realign the full complex in order to make the elements breathe well, and salve you from madness?" he asks politely, not mentioning Imtithal's accent-- it may prove useful at some future date. He looks over at Imtithal. "More adventure, Seven-bladed Dagger of the Sun's Blessing! We will ride across this land yet." He frowns, and turns back to the Salamander. "I would not seem crass, wise and mighty one, but the land is dangerous these days-- and expensive. We had hoped to bring some form of riches back to the lady Night's clan. Are there any obtainable nearby?"

The salamander waves one obsidian claw. "I do not know if that would resolve the entirety of the problems," it says. "The confusion is greater than the complex itself. When the Fae washed over the world, they broke many of the bonds of order, and left the entire region in disarray. Very little remains where it should be." The enormous lizard - outmassing both Corona and Aurora even without the tail - contemplates the request. "The earth bleeds fire here," it says. "There are many deposits of rare crystals in the lava tubes, beneath the earth." It glances at Imtithal. "I had wondered if you were also a Prince of the Earth," it says, placidly. "Your pardon, please, lady, for not properly addressing you."

Imtithal pulls off the faceplate of her armor and smiles at the salamander. "No harm done," she answers. "I'm not advertising it much."

Sarye smiles. "We will make your Clan happy, indeed, then, flame of the Radeen; I do not think my own will need such at all." He bows to the great salamander. "A thousand gratitudes for your warm hospitality and brilliant generosity. If we were to seek to fix thins, do you believe we would have to shunt the geomancy ourselves, or would we simply be able to test and press at existing stations unfound?"

Imtithal clears her throat. "But how long until you go mad again?" she asks. It's not a very delicate question, though she does her limited best to ask it politely.

The elemental tilts its head to the side. "Radeen?" it says, then issues that great shrug. "It has been a very long time, and it is no longer relevant," it muses. "There is no need to thank me, Resplendent Sun; I am bound to serve." The elemental contemplates the question. "It is possible that Midala is effected more than other regions because one of the elemental stations is damaged," it muses, "but for any changes beyond the temple complex, the geomancy would have to be altered manually, I would think. It would be too much work, most likely." The gloomy elemental sighs and looks to Imtithal. "I would estimate about two hundred years as it is now, Dagger of Heaven," it says politely. "Though it could be half that time if what the Zenith did to the essence flows isn't permanent. It probably isn't.

Sarye considers this for a moment, asking, as a throw-away question, "You know of the Radeen?" while he tries to think about the other elemental stations-- though he has not much hope; cool oases are the closest he can come up with, and while a few seem magical, none seem immediately Manse-like.

The enormous lizard, its many colored scales rippling under the sun, shrugs again. "I knew of Radeen," it says. "But that was a long time ago. She is surely dead now."

Sarye absent-mindedly picks up one end of the tail and pulls it back and forth in front of Corona like an oversized string. The giant simhata pounces and plays with the tail as Sarye says, "Death is no barrier when the Exaltation is involved; the patterns of life return. What say you, Ancient and Cunning of Flame?"

"Radeen was not one of the Princes of the Earth," the elemental muses. "Merely one of their favored children."

Sarye folds his legs together and sits, listening to the story as the elemental commences. "Intriguing," he notes, and is intent on the salamander, though he continues to give Corona some exercise by way of the tail.

Imtithal raises an eyebrow, but calls over Aurora and stands stroking the great lion-horse's ears as she listens. When Sarye fails to ask another question, she asks, "Whose child?"

The vast lizard waves a claw again. "She was daughter of I-amia-ten, who ruled east of here. They were circle-kin, I-amia-ten, the Sword of the South, and Mida, who built and ruled here. He is dead as well, I would assume. Radeen came to the temple to serve Mida. Mida had no golden children of his own."

He squints at Imtithal. "Given the name, I would presume she survived the Usurpation and founded a clan of her own mortal line." He gives a gloomy sigh. "Probably betrayed Lord Mida and hid somewhere. Everyone was betraying everyone then."

"I heard it was the fashion at the time. May it, like wearing the feathers of the horribly clashing mtumo bird, never return as a broad fashion again," Sarye says, letting Corona have the tail entirely. "Such fashions never entirely go out of style, sadly, and thus, like wearing bright yellows with bright blues, it must be ever guarded against. I hear the name of the complex of manses we have come to take as our own," Sarye says with no shame. "I thank you for them, for they are hints along the path."

Imtithal's face flares - she's not very good at hiding her emotions. "Be careful," she says, "what you say about my clan." She lets Sarye's distraction ride though, settling a little bit though her face is angry.

The salamander looks placidly at Imtithal. "No offense is meant, Prince of the Earth. I am sure your clan is most upstanding and righteous, whatever the roots. If I have offended and you wish to destroy me, please be sure you stop both hearts."

Sarye is once again glad that his smile cannot be seen through his armor. "Perhaps we should not be so hasty to kill, Daughter of Fidelity," he says, trying very hard not to laugh. "If we have covered origins, perhaps we can now cover actions-- as an apology, perhaps you should ask him to fetch the valuable deposits of which he spoke?"

Imtithal gives Sarye a dirty glance. "When did I say I was planning on killing anything?" she complains. "I don't intend to leave this manse without a guardian."

The Salamander sighs "It is ever thus," it says, gloomily. "Very well, mistress of the manse. If you wish me to swim beneath the earth and bring out the deposits of crystalline formations, I will do so. Please note that the crystals grow slowly, and can be harvested on a matter of years, not seasons." The great scaled beast turns as if it was going to slip down one of the lava vents.

Sarye chuckles quietly. "Years, not seasons, he says, when the rest would require speaking to some of the lords of the Earth. You have stumbled across a bounty, my sister. And one that is well-armed indeed." He ponders. "I wonder if we could hit some of the Varangian observatories from here." Sarye thinks a bit longer. "Maybe during midday or something when not even the cleaners can bear the heat of the mirrors.

It is entirely possible that Sarye would, if allowed, use the volcano-batteries to spell out his name in glassed sand all over the desert.

Imtithal is still a little glarey, though she waits until the salamander slips under the crust of the desert to respond. "I think the salamander was trying to bait me, that second time," she ponders.

Sarye chuckles. "It is the way of all creatures to jest," and perhaps the golden aura that flows from his armor twinkles, just a bit, at that moment. "Even the most doleful. I have never before met a creature of flame that was so dreary! Still, I like him; he will prove a good guardian, I think, if we can make most haste and secure the flows to reach the two century deadline," he laughs.

Imtithal ponders. "I suppose that is a relevant deadline now," she says, after a moment. "I had not considered the effects that the elemental warping here would have on the local elementals. It must be like having one ear filled with water and having troubles telling up from down."

She wanders over to the plinth she earlier identified as the control-stone, and moves her fingers over the diagrams, examining them closely.

Sarye wanders up besides Imtithal and says, "But even as oases are found in the middle of the deep south, so too can the elements be found anywhere. I suspect that we need to not fear a catastrophic failure of geomancy, so long as we put some thought into planning for the long term. But that brings up a number of questions, of course."

"Mmm?" Imtithal queries as she touches the stone. "Huh," she says. "This one also requires a ritual." She gestures back at the altar. "Incense to be burnt there every month, to renew the fire essence." She continues examining the control panel.

Sarye says, "Well, of course-- other than tending to our Manses, for which I am quite glad my kin will take care of the temple-- what shall we do next?" he asks with a laugh. "Adventure burns in my blood as much as Essence does now in my soul, Imtithal of the Loyal and Dutiful Radeen, and I have no clue where to next seek parts of our little Midalan complex, other than seek out loremasters and the like. So -- what shall we do after we have secured your finances?"

Imtithal points out, "Now you're trying to needle me as well." It's only a slightly annoyed grumble, and she continues. "I should probably take the gems back to my sister. I've let her take over the merchanting. I was no good at it, and she is." She shrugs. "Apparently very good, and I keep spending money, so..."

"It is always good to have someone wise in the ways of coin," Sarye says and gives a sigh. "I do without, as a priest, most of the time..." He shakes his head. "But half the time, even when I _do_ pick things up from raiding, I keep buying gifts for the rest of the tribe and by the time I'm done..." His voice becomes somewhat sheepish. "I keep forgetting to invest."

Imtithal shrugs. "You are F'meeq," she says. "What do you need besides your simhata, your sword, your meat and your bed?" The young Night says, "I suppose in the end, I -need- little else, but books are expensive, especially old ones, and there is so much lore I do not /know/..." She gives a grin. "Plus, I have a station to uphold, while I can. Else we have no one knowing what passes in Chiaroscuro."

She seems satisfied with the control stone. "I'm not sure what I'll do about this places's maintaining ritual. I suppose I can come out every month; it's certainly simple enough to do."

Sarye considers this for a while. "Not all F'meeqi are as footloose as I, and simhata, as wonderful as they are--" He smiles at Corona, who is sharing his toy with Aurora, if she wants to play, right now, "Are expensive to keep in meat. I know a thaumaturge or two, in fact, a certain widow-- my aunt's cousin-- who is in need of some extra money to support her family. She might be willing to perform the ritual, if you can help her; she's currently living with her daughter's family at the Temple now."

Imtithal smiles. "So long as the salamander can be trusted..." she says, "I would think that would work." She may worry about money, but she is well aware that the money she worries about is far more than that the majority of the F'meeqi tend to be concerned with. "Do YOU think it can be?"

"I think that its dolefulness belies a sort of honesty. And as I stretched out with my Essence sight, I saw his matrix tangled with it. I believe him to be imprinted within the manse proper, and so long as we maintain it-- and maintain control-- I think that it will be loyal."

Imtithal nods. "It is /definitely/ bound to the manse. I do not think it wanted to re-emerge yet, but I compelled it."

"If you do plan on asking one of my kin to tend it, you should probably instruct it not to try to smite her. Aunt's cousin can be interesting in a temper, but it might interfere with the geomancy of the place."

Imtithal nods. "I had assumed I would want to." She shrugs, rummaging in her own belt pouch for a hunk of scented resin to burn in the shallow bowl on the altar. "I can do so for now, of course," she says, moving towards the altar. She is kneeling beside the altar, igniting the smoldering fragrant resin, when the salamander slides back out of one of the fiery pits - different than the one it entered. It told the truth; instead of entirely missing, it now has a stumpy little tail, though no stinger is in evidence yet.

Sarye is somewhat relieved by this. Along his life, he's noticed that, if a creature has one, a tail tends to be an important thing, and, generosity to Corona or not, Sarye wants to make sure the elemental he killed is alright. "I wonder," Sarye says. "If this complex was attached to Chiaroscuro at all, some of the towers-- or the undercity-- might have intact records or memory crystals. What do you think, Twin-Flames of the Flying Death?" he asks Imtithal. "Shall we go exploring upon our return?"

Imtithal doesn't look up until she has the resin properly ignited, and it slowly smolders in the bowl. As it burns, the letters around the rim of the altar re-ignite. "The undercity?" she queries. "Is that real?"

The salamander snorts and spreads an obsidian clawful of rough, not quite glowing rocks out to cool on the stone. "Your harvest, mistress of the manse," it informs Imtithal. "I shouldn't suggest you pick them up just yet. They're still rather warm, and you'd probably catch yourself on flame." It heaves another sigh.

"The Undercity! Place of a thousand and one mysteries, and a thousand and two stenches! Light a match, or bring along our old friend here, and you'll cause explosions of ancient and mutated beasts to come fountaining out of forgotten sewer entrances for weeks! If there's something you can't buy there, that's probably because you wanted it cleaned first!" Sarye says. "I know that it is hard to believe, but sometimes the F'meeqi... acquire... goods that it is not too much of a proper thing to show to the Tri-Khan's taxmen. And thus, to prevent them from having inordinate burdens, we travel among the underways, and trade them for things mysterious and ancient and occasionally even useful!"

Imtithal raises an eyebrow. "It sounds exceedingly improper for a young noble woman," she says, dryly, pulling her hood up over her head. "How fortunate I am fairly sure I can ensure no one recognizes me."

The salamander watches both Exalts mournfully now, and after a minute, Imtithal stoops down to pick up one of the rapidly cooling rocks. It's still warm enough she passes it from hand to hand for comfort, but she is capable of handling it. She examines the rock, and is pleased to see a glow of uncut rubies within it. "Very nice," she thanks the salamander. "I will be able to make some use of these.

Sarye laughs again. "Well, if it is improper you are looking for, you can certainly find it down there. It may be stinky, but it will be improper. Furthermore... Hmm. It might be a good idea if you continued some of your studies-- you are more a loremaster than I-- for the knowledge of geomancy might prove useful below. There are broken and lost manses." He waves cheerfully at the Salamander. "You are an excellent and bountiful guardian, you know," he compliments the beast. "May your flame consume the sweetest oil and the rarest earths."

"Mostly," the salamander sighs, "I get earth-rats."

Imtithal glances over at the salamander as she collects the rest of the stones, and calls Aurora over from where she is playing tug of war with Corona, to place the stones in one of the saddlebags. "I will likely be sending a mortal, kin to the Zenith, to tend this altar on a regular basis. I do not want you to threaten or assault the so sent mortal."

The salamander blinks at Imtithal. "As you command, mistress," it sighs. "A mortal will likely stumble into one of the firepits and I'll be blamed, of course. But simply identify your minion by the hearthstone and I will know not to ward the manse against them."

"Do -not- tell aunt's cousin that you think that, O dolorous flame," Sarye says with some alarm. "She is a talented and temperamental thaumaturge, and can whip up such winds-- well! Just don't get on her bad side," he says, waving orichalcum-clad hands. "She might think you are cute, though, and adopt you," he says thoughtfully. "That might work, and she might stop pushing -me- to get married," he says, pleased.

Imtithal nods to the salamander, and pats Aurora on the nose. "Do we have anything else to do here?" she asks Sarye. "I'm afraid my sister is becoming afraid I am mad, with all the coming and going and odd instructions to the household."

Sarye shrugs and adds cheerfully, "You could just tell her the details. No, I think we are done. I'll go get the toy from the simhata, and we can return. Is the loot ready?"

At the first statement, Imtithal makes a face. "My kin are not of quite the same persuasion as yours," she says, dryly. "Regardless of what their roots may have been." Then Imtithal nods. "They're in Aurora's saddlebags," she says, cheerfully. "Safe enough with her watching them." She smiles and swings onto simhata. "I will stop back at the temple with you."

Sarye finally manages to get the tail away from a disappointed Corona, and folds it up into the saddlebags with promises to play with him later. Sarye then leaps astride the playful beast, and ponders. "Saluting him with the cutter would not be the same, so..." He bursts into song again, the same one he tried to reach the Salamander with first, though far more joyful this time. Corona mewls, surprisingly in tune, and the two raise up, and ride out together.

Sarye and Corona will _never_ stop showing off.

Imtithal simply waves a hand at the salamander, and rides out following the males and rolling her eyes.
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